Got Mixed Kids? Check out Dr. Jenn...
Fact: parenting is hard.
And Monoracial parents raising Mixed-race kids face special challenges.
Get a group of Mixed adults together and inevitably the conversation will turn to how our parents impacted our identities:
What they did right.
What they did wrong.
What we wish they’d known.
If only they’d had Dr. Jenn…
Jennifer Noble’s experiences growing up Mixed Black and Sri Lankan motivated her college studies, and her path to becoming a licensed psychologist specializing in parenting and families. Today, she offers private coaching, books, and a community for the parents of Mixed children. And she’s launching a unique Mixed Race Academy, where parents can “Learn to affirm your child’s existence as a Mixed-race person in the world and raise confident, secure Mixed-race kids.” Get on the WaitList now!
I know how urgently Dr. Jenn’s wisdom and services are needed in this world. I’ve long admired her work and her wisdom and want others to know about her. We had a quick chat so you can get to know her and help spread the word about the vital resources she offers.
TaRessa: How did you become a “whisperer” for parents of Mixed children?
Dr. Jenn: First and foremost, I am Mixed-race myself. I think partly because of this, I was always observant, curious, and fascinated by cultures and identity. In college I researched and began studying the Mixed-race experience. I recognized so much of my own experience, but I also read some very troubling information on more painful Mixed-race identity journeys.
I became involved in the Mixed-race community - attending conferences as well as joining MASC (Multiracial Americans of Southern California). The more work I did within our community, the more I saw how few people understood this experience and how little visibility there was of Mixed-race journeys. That ignited my passion to become an advocate, to help others find community and to share my experience with others who understood. I did all of this while finishing graduate school and beginning work as a clinical psychologist specializing in children and teens.
TaRessa: What led you to focus specifically on working with the parents of Mixed-race children?
Dr. Jenn: In community event after community event, I saw Mixed-race adults explaining how their parents had been ill-equipped to help them navigate their identity or how to stand up to societal pressures. I met parents who were desperate to know what to say to their children.
I said to myself, "Self? How are we going to be right here, trained in psychology, teaching developmental psychology, experienced in working with parents and families and NOT step into provide support?!? And we lived the Mixed-race experience ourselves?!" It was a no-brainer for me to step in and focus on parents because I knew how much power they have to shape their children and help them build resilience.
TaRessa: What are some of the biggest challenges that you see facing these parents?
Dr. Jenn: Parents are nervous to have discussions about race and identity because they don't want to say "the wrong" thing! So instead, they stay quiet or give an answer like “you’re just human,” that is not as helpful as their kid may need. Parents also struggle with how to respond to others who may make negative comments about their family, deny their child's identity, invalidate their existence (ahem, school forms!) or even exclude or maltreat their child. Unfortunately, many times, the presence of a Mixed-race child is the "wake up call" for parents to begin examining race, ethnicity and the power structures associated with all of that. It’s a little scary!
I saw Mixed-race adults explaining how their parents had been ill-equipped to help them navigate their identity or how to stand up to societal pressures. I met parents who were desperate to know what to say to their children.
TaRessa: What kind of feedback are you getting from your work in this area?
Dr. Jenn: Parents are searching for ways to learn! There are Facebook groups where parents try to talk to each other. Parents are trying to learn about haircare for their children with African heritage. They’re searching for articles, and they’re reading books about culture and about Mixed-race identity for their children. I am finding that parents are just looking for as much of a "how to" as they can find, because they see their children’s needs and want to know how to fill them.
TaRessa: What kind of services do you offer?
Dr. Jenn: My private practice in Los Angeles includes a focus on Mixed-race teens and adults. I love that a Mixed-race person can speak openly about how they were treated or how they are still navigating their identity without worry about being questioned or invalidated. I love being able to show how those experiences may contribute to or complicate their presenting problems. I also work with parents of teens around how they can better support their Mixed-race teens and affirm their identities.
TaRessa: You’ve branched out beyond your private practice?
Dr. Jenn: Yes. I also do one-on-one coaching with parents of Mixed-race kids through a structured set of sessions over 12 weeks where we find a way to help parents see their blind spots and learn to become advocates for their children. I help parents examine themselves and understand the Mixed-race experience.
TaRessa: And you offer other resources?
Dr. Jenn: I created a journal for parents with 31 different affirmations that will help them feel more confident in having the difficult discussions with their children, and how to respond and stand firm in the face of microaggressions thrown at their family or children. The journal includes places for them to reflect and different actions they can take with their child, their family or themselves.
TaRessa: Tell us about this new project you’ve developed.
Dr. Jenn: I am super pumped about The Mixed Life Academy, a new community I am building for parents of Mixed-race kids! It will be a place for parents to learn about the Mixed-race experience, how to show up for their kids, how to become more aware of themselves as advocates and support systems. They will get coaching from me, video lessons, worksheets and most importantly a community of parents to find more support as they learn!
TaRessa: I’m so happy to hear about all of these resources. We know how urgently they’re needed and what a difference they can make!
DR. JENN’S TOP 5 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF MIXED-RACE KIDS
1. Examine your own relationship to race, culture and ethnicity. You will have to explore how your racial experience in the world will be totally different than your child's.
2. Do not fall to the pressure to define your child as only one of their identities. They will need to know that in their home (at least) every part of their background is acknowledged.
3. Learn about the Mixed-race experience. This will help you support your child on their identity journey.
4. Expose your child to as much of both (or all) of their cultures as you can. This will provide them the tools to construct and internalize their identity.
5. Be willing to have difficult discussions about race and identity. Be a safe space for your kid to process!
You can find and connect with Dr. Jenn -- @drjennpsych on all platforms:
Instagram where she shares educational tidbits (some playful, some more serious) that help illuminate the Mixed-race experience.
She’s also on Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, and has videos on YouTube.
Here’s her website for ALL the goodies!
Thanks for sharing the wisdom. I think 2 might be particularly challenging for Black parents of Biracial children.