What are the greatest challenges and barriers to Mixed folks expressing their identities?
I posted the image above in several Mixed social media groups. Dozens of people responded, and I’ve categorized and paraphrased the main answers here.
PLEASE NOTE: This is not a formal research, focus group, poll, survey, or study with quantitative data. It is an informal roundup of spontaneous responses to a social media query.
Being told you can’t have a dual identity or connection because you have to choose / claim just one. Or being told you can’t feel closer to one because you’re Mixed.
You never know when people will police you so there’s always some reluctance to be ‘unapologetically Mixed.’
People challenging you about your identity.
How other people want to categorize you regardless of your family tree.
People stuck in the Jim Crow / One Drop era telling me I should just identify as Black.
Some people tell me I’m Black, others tell me I’m Mixed, and it’s confusing.
Being told I look white and should identify as white.
Meeting a world that believes it defines my value based on how it sees me.
Feeling I’m viewed as a science experiment.
Utter rejection.
Pressure to explain / justify myself and my identity.
Lack of representation and resulting imposter syndrome.
You’re never really looked at as a whole person.
When they lump us together, our unique needs can go unmet.
Having to check just one box on forms.
Balancing my perceived Blackness and issues that go with it while not erasing my non-Black mother—it’s a fine line.
Racism from white people; anger about colorism from Black people.
Being accused of anti-Blackness for acknowledging my mix.
Being seen as “questionable” because you don’t fit into society’s boxes.
Navigating what is culturally appropriate.
Being told I’m inserting myself where I don’t belong just for expressing my opinions and experiences.
Never really being accepted from any groups—never seen as a whole person.
Ableism from both sides—neurodivergent traits seen as “acting white.”
Aggressive and unprovoked accusations of anti-Blackness.
The never-ending inquisition of “What are you?” and “Where are you REALLY from?”
People always register me as something other than what I am.
“But you don’t look ________________.”
Unless I explain myself, people make assumptions. Even when they know, I still feel like I have to censor what I say.
Hating the anti-Blackness in society and not wanting to align with it.
Internalized racism from my upbringing that confuses me.
Fear that expressing that I’m Mixed will be perceived as trying to separate from my Black identity.
Resenting white people.
Being raised by white people who didn’t even try.
Feeling I don’t have the right to speak on certain issues regarding race, so I limit myself.
Feeling the pressure to be apologetic.
Worrying that a hairstyle is cultural appropriation.
Being made to feel the cultures in your lineage aren’t your own, that you’re just “borrowing” from your parents.
No connection to my Black father, culture, or roots—having to build it from scratch.
When you respond to racist comments and are told, “Well you’re half…”
Having my Black identity denied because I was raised by a white woman in a mostly white space.
Being told I can’t speak for the Black community: “You don’t know how it truly feels.”
When Black people regularly hit me with the “No Mixed tears” thing.
The Black blood quantum thing separates me from the Black community where I’m more comfortable.
MY KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Mixed folks are NOT any kind of monolith—our experiences and concerns are as diverse as our backgrounds, appearances, journeys, and cultural affiliations.
Since we’re now the fastest-growing segment of the U.S. population, it’s in everyone’s best interest to consider and engage with us in more positive, progressive ways.
BIG TAKEAWAY: All of the challenges described are caused directly or indirectly by how the world / society / other (meaning non-Mixed) people view, consider, talk to / about, and interact with us. These challenges are reactions and responses to a world stuck in “Either / Or,” that needs to move into “And.”
Truth is, WE have to train folks how to treat us. SO we KEEP speaking our truths, living our “And,” to accept and embrace the differences among us and work together to fight the racism, discrimination, and othering that create these challenges in the first place.
That’s the ONLY way anything can change.
This was so awesome to see collected in one area. Many of these I can relate to personal or have spoken to Mixed folks that feel or have been perceived these ways on my show. A wonderful building block towards understanding Mixedness for folks.